Thursday, September 27, 2012

Clap and whistle

Here's a thought Mr. Man,

The fact that we were introduced a couple of years ago,
the fact that we run in the same circle of friends,
the fact that we speak the same language,
the fact that you are a... meh, decent dancer,
the fact that you didn't even know my name when I was a size 12, but a size 4 "Mafecita" caught your attention,
the fact that I'm not longer "with gentleman",
the fact that I'm really tiny compared to you...

... does NOT give you the right to feel me, grab my butt or do whatever it was you were trying to do the other night... EWWWWW!!

The next time you try something like that, I will react REALLY violently and scream. That night I was really scared and the only thing I could think of doing was pulling myself away from you as fast as I could.
Another attempt like that and, oh yes, my lovely bodyguards will kick your ass. They've already warned you: "One signal from petite little Mafe and... you... are... dead"
Please show your hands at all times and if the lights go off, CLAP AND WHISTLE.

Are we clear?

Oh, and please, don't play dumb and don't ask why is it that I don't want to talk to you anymore.
It's not flattering, grow up.

And yes, don't bother and stop asking my roommate out for coffee, we girls talk about EVERYTHING and, honestly? she hates your guts.
Eres un cabron!

Monday, September 24, 2012

The calorie count that doesn't count

I'm on a counting calories diet... booooooooring...

I'm supposed to eat between 1200 and 1350 calories per day with a goal to burn almost half of it at the gym. And, just so my diet sister knows, here's this semester's weekly train of exercise:

  • Spinning 3 days,
  • Boot camp 1 day,
  • Zumba and ballet classes 1 day each (yes, ballet - I know now how to releve, plie, grand plie and susu like a Black Swan. It's just that mine don't look like Natalie Portman's but Bjork's ...),
  • Racquetball and volleyball practices (with an almost-broken-wrist and my fingers swollen and purple after every volleyball practice/game. Ha! but according to my trainer - aka nemesis - my racquetball technique is getting better and better!),
  • Swimming 3 miles in 80 min once a week 3.5 miles in one hour twice a week.
... and that is, actually not that bad.

Here's the bad thing: OKTOBERFEST.

According to the app, the number of calories on an Apple Strudle is 290 and 425 on a Cheese Strudel, add those two and I'm more than halfway my daily calorie intake.

The problem is... I love strudel. Specially the one they sell during Oktoberfest here in Zinzinnati.

The ugly part of the problem is the fact that I used to share my strudels. Do I have to eat them all by myself now? Who's going to munch on them during the night? How am I supposed to wake up the next day and find each slice almost gone? It's not pretty...

What if I buy a mini slice of each flavor and mourn eat it and don't think.

It doesn't matter how many calories are there, or how will I burn them.
I just can't see myself doing it.
It doesn't feel right.
Karma's a bitch