I'm getting f***ng old, man

Turns out working is making me sick.
The work I looooove... is making me sick.

I never imagined I'd be one of those people who went to the doctor and got a "Vertigo due to work stress"... and a doctor's tsk-tsk face.
He said I need a day off, I said NO.

I had a full week off when I went to Mexico two weeks ago, I said.
I really? and why did you go there?
I went to a conference... I had a couple of presentations, a meeting, a workshop and...
So, work.
Not really, I rode a bike a couple of times...
I know that's part of your work.
I went out with friends...
How many days were you there and how many hours did you do NOTHING?
8 days... a few.
How many weekends have you "worked from home" (he did the airbunnies thingie) the last 11 months?
Ummmm... the last... ummmm... 4 times 11 is... 40?
That's it little girl. You're grounded. No more working weekends for you!!
..................

The inimaginable has happened...

After all those years of sleepless nights, tears, wishful thinking, realising who I am... it happened.

The A-word is now part of my vocabulary.

I am now someone's ADVISOR.

SAY WHAAAAAAAAAT???
Yeah-huh gurl.

Today, I got this from a friend, my little dude said it was true.

All in all, all's good...

The new soundtrack of mah life , baby!

Why bother writing when dear old Freddy can say it for me?

You grow up...

... and it's your birthday.

And one of your dearest friends is missing.
And you find out she's sick.
And then you ask what's going on.
And someone tells you she's not well.
And you talk to your friend, the Doctor.
And he's brutally honest, but it's that's what you asked for.
And then you call her.
And you hear the words: transplant, bone marrow...
And all you can say is something stupid like: Be honest, you're getting a lipo AND boobs!
And she laughs.

And then... then what?

She starts treatment tomorrow.

Life... huh?

Apocalypse now

While getting ready for the end of the world... my friend Andy mentioned how we were supposed to prepare for thunder and kaboom and all that jazz.
But nononono... just don't. Zeus is the one with the thunder and the rays and the music.
Jesus is more into big productions, he goes BIG. He makes it rain...... FROGS!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, frogs have been raining on my little world, an old blast from the past has been lurking around my little social media platforms.

Fun thing, I don't know how it happened but one of her associates managed to find my work e-mail and boom! she sent a message to the only electronic mailbox I manage.
Soon she'll Facebook friend request me, maybe follow me on twitter. Maybe even commenting on one of the websites I collab.

Get ready folks, the horsemen are coming!

I've been told I'm moving to a new office in a couple of months so I don't think they'll be able to find me.
I'll leave a post-it at the door, just in case.

Did you really think my baby little soul would write back?

Psychology's my jam... or not

Apparently, I look like a Psychologist... or a terrorist negotiator.

There's this boy, who's a friend (oooo0o0o0o0hhhh!!!! ---no, it's not what you think), who has a sister to went to Paris for a Master's 4 years ago. She called a couple of weeks ago, she's not coming back.
I don't understand why, but he's going crazy.

In a very strange state of mind, he called me for moral support.
He invited me to his house to talk some sense into her.
He was going to call her (or Skype her, or whatever) and I was supposed to convince her to come back home.
Problem was, at the time I agreed to do it, I didn't know the entire story.
I went to his place mostly for the booze.

Of course, before talking to the girl, I asked some background questions and well... this happened:

Me: Why are you so angry?
O: She PROMISED she was going to be back after 2 years. What is she doing there?
Don't ask me, have you asked her?
No... but really, what is she doing there?
Dude... she's living in Paris... France... Europe... 
She needs to start acting like an adult, she must take command of her life!
.... ohh... take command of HER life... and do what YOU want... right?
(shut up!)

Why doesn't she come back home? she'll have a roof over her head here!
OMG... is she homeless??
No, she has a little tiny apartment. 
But she has a place she can afford by herself, right?
Yeah, but if she were here, she'd be living with my mom, with a maid and a cook. She'll have EVERYTHING!
I see... hey... do you like this apartment?
I love it!!
How hard was it to find it... furnish it?
Oh... really hard.
How big is this place?
It's tiny... nothing big.
What would you say if your mom told you to get rid of it, live with her, with a maid and a cook. So you can have EVERYTHING!
I'd be ma---- shut. up.
Ok

She's not a little girl anymore, she's been there for 4 years. Don't you think it's about time she settles down?
How old are you?
40
This is a nice place... 
Thanks!
Are you 100% happy with your life? work? paycheck? love?
Well... no.
So, you're not done yet.
Nah.
When I met you 15 years ago you were really struggling... so in 2 years she's supposed to do what you haven't been able to do in over 16 years. Why?
(shut up!)

She says she's happy there, how can she be happy without her family?
How can se be happy with a group of people that belittles her?
She's a spoiled brat. She gets mad every time I write on her Facebook wall: "Sissy, You'll always be my baby"
And still, you DEMAND for her to act like an adult... smart move man.

She's my baby sister, she's not supposed to suffer. She's a princess. She's my little dove.
OH... C'MON!!! I'm gonna puke from all that corny!!
But it's true!
Don't you want your sister to be a strong, independent, reliable, incredibly smart woman?
My little angel.
You're an ass.
WHAT?!?!?!
Don't make the call, I'm not talking to her.
But... it's my birthday, do it as a present for me
(Oh fuck) ---- No man, not going to happen. I'll bake you a birthday cake, I'll take you out... right now, but I won't make the call.
I'll make the call.
Good! You make the call, ask her about her life. Ask her what is she doing... tell her you're PROUD of her and all she's accomplished.
I can't lie.
It's not a lie, I know deep down you're proud of her.
I won't lie
You're an ass... and I'm not going to bake you a cake or take you out.

------

Apparently, it was a win/win/win situation.
A couple of weeks later the sister got a phone call from the brother letting her know how proud he was of her... and how much he respected her decisions; the brother got a little peace of mind, and most importantly; the terrorist negotiator got a dinner invitation... yay!

Life's a bitch

Getting home with a letter from the big big boss saying I've earned a promotion after 3 months on the job.
Reducing many many MANY letters and emails requesting permits and burocratic issues with a cell phone filled with numbers and now friendly names helping me with all the crazy bike plans I'm cooking.
Meetings, meetings, students, students, plans, plans... taking all my time.
Getting home so tired I haven't been able to stay awake and watch tv in weeks.
Leaving home so early and coming back so late the doorman actually said: "Hello miss! I thought you were out of town! I haven't seen you in a while."

Being the happiest version of me I've been in years.
Smiling so much my cheeks hurt when I think about it.

Stopping in the middle of a busy day to attend a funeral.

Life has a bitch sense of humor.

My own quantum physics

I keep all the clocks and watches around myself, even my wristwatch, 5 minutes ahead.
Of course, that makes me 5 minutes early to all my appointments, It makes me a happy camper.

All happy, all camper-y... except this week:

The lady that cleans my apartment fixed the time on all those watches, they're now ON TIME.

I've been 10 minutes LATE to every single on my appointments this week.

How does that happen? The only reasonable explanation is, there's a time vortex at my door that turns a -5 minute difference equivalent to a +15 minute result.

So, the girls met the guy and...

- Since when do you have a thing for hippies?
- Since geeks turned out to be asses.
- Good point, good point -------------- are you serious?
- Yeap.
- Don't forget to send an hippie invite for your hippie wedding.
- (y)

Lucky number five, times a hundred

I've been collecting lucky bamboos for a while now.

Well, let's not call it "collecting", taking care of and then releasing into the world, or something...

I got my first one while living in Cincinnati. It was a pretty little thing someone got as part of a minimalistic deco composition for a 2 bedroom apartment.

Then, I moved to New Jersey and I had to leave my lucky bamboo in the hands of an incredibly stupid woman, who at the time I called "friend" (but that's another story, written somewhere else).
At the time, there was this dude who offered to drive my little lucky from OH to NJ, but I didn't want to complicate something that was already looking complicated ---- which, a few years later got horribly complicated and I ended up burning bridges all around the midwest, the Dakotas and West coast, catch my complicated drift?

Anyway, anyhow, any who...

Once in NJ, I got a new lucky bamboo, very Swedish, very much from Ikea.
Unfortunately, I had to leave NJ, and lucky bamboo #2 couldn't come with me . I'm pretty sure it's dead by now. Sorry little dude, shit happens.

As I returned to Cincy, one of the few significant things I wanted to take back was lucky #1.
When I asked for it, the woman I left it to started to cry. She'd let my bamboo die... I mean.... HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KILL A BAMBOO??? how stupid are you?? that creature may have a thousand academic degrees and diplomas but... it's water once every two weeks woman. How hard is it!?!?!

Well, it hurt at the time, but when I moved to a new apartment by myself, I got a mini tiny lucky bamboo.
Lucky #3 grew to about 6-7 times his original size in a couple of months, which make my incredibly proud. My green thumb existed!!
A few weeks later, this guy I met saw my baby all alone, said they were not supposed to be by themselves and got it a brother, lucky #4.

Lucky #4 gave me enough confidence to get more brothers, sisters and cousins from all around and my little apartment became the little peace of heaven I always wanted but was not "allowed", with  flowers, plants and herbs that filled my apartment with colours and scents even during the coldest of winters.

Last year I moved again. This time I was not going to be able to take my bamboos with me... or any of my plants for that matter.
Mr. Big offered to take them, but it was going to be tooooooooo complicated. So I gave half of them to my former roommate and the other half, including my two luckies, to my amazing neighbour. I'm pretty sure he's taking great care of my babies.

*** Fast forward, 6 months ***

My aunt gave me a big, big, really big... HUGE succulents pot as a Christmas present, now sitting on the highest shelf in my office.
It came as a bunch of little babies, and now it's a pretty little jungle.

[sigh] --- Lucky #5 came two weeks ago to my apartment. He's getting used to his new place and I'm getting used to seeing something pretty, something familiar, something from another time and place.

After #5? ferns, peonies, lemongrass, mint, basil... I'm slowly getting my little jungle back.

Can't complain. Life's good.

Workaholic

I've became one of those people who has absolutely everything scheduled and planned.
Every minute of every hour of my days is planned.
Meetings, classes, reading, writing, emailing, seeing my family... my family is part of my schedule, wtf?!?!

My phone is my assistant. Even thought I have an Secretary, a very nice lady, I can't live without my phone.

(I'm blogging while I drink my 5.30PM coffee, leaving the office early today is not a plan)

Every day I'm feeling more distance between Mr. Big and me, and that makes me sad, I don't he can't understand how sad it feels.
Trying to see Prof. Max Power has been impossible... I'm getting worried. That can't be good, how are we supposed to finish our research projects if we can't work together??

The only good thing is, I'm happily busy.

So... this happened

About 2 weeks ago the Earth shook... and it was HARD.
It was considerably stronger that the last one I experienced, back in 2011 while living in New Jersey.

I was having coffee at an outdoor terrace with a friend, we were taking a break. I had a meeting in a couple of minutes and she was almost done with classes.

As we felt the first bang, we just stepped away from the building, coffee in hand and walked to the lab, where some of our students were performing tremor frequency simulations (oops!!!).
I walked into the lab, laughting and said "Duuuuudes! what did you do!?!?!? no extra cookie points for that!!!"

Anyway, thinking back on that afternoon, I realized I had a couple of things on my mind while everything was shaking:
My sister's all by herself... on the 15th floor. She must've felt something really funky upthere.
Thank goodness the lady that cleans my apartment is not home today, she'd be crying out loud by now.
Why are those girls screaming so loud? it's not THAT bad. Can anyone say: Drama Queens?
Mmmmm... interesting, the coffee sign is moving side by side, the shoking wave came from the North.
Heeeeey! CNN is tweeting about his... it's the first time I'm part of a trending topic. Famous much???

I realized I wasn't scared, or shaken.  I saw people crying, calling home... jamming the lines.
I sent a text to my family "I'm ok".
My sister replied: It was horrible!!!!!!!

Later that night when I got home, I found a cracks on the walls, the terrace door wide open and a couple of little things from high shelves on the floor.

Did my brainless geeky-brain saved me from being petrified? Maybe?

So... that happened.

Not the same

"I'm trying to understand you again", my mom said the other night.

Again...

Again?

I've been talking about this weird stuff to one of my closets friends, she came back home after living in France for a few years.

It's because you're not the same, she said.
Neither are you, I replied.
I knooooooow gurl!!

We're both going through the same things, similar thoughts, similar cultural and mommy shocks...

Yeap, I'm not the same, a piece of me died a few years ago and I don't think it's coming back.
Fortunately for me, I think it's a part of my heart I don't need anymore... the part where I care for others more than I care for myself.

Call me selfish, call me narcissistic, call me mean.
Call me a bitch. It ain't happenin' any time soon.

Don't like it? don't let the door hit you in the back on the way out.

Thinking out loud

When you are done with work late on a Friday night, and all you can think is go home and lay in bed.

When you find you left your cell phone at the office and you have to go back.

When you find a voice message and all you hear someone on the other side singing THIS from the top of his lungs...

When your legs don't work like they used to before

and I can't sweep you off of your feet

Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?

Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

And darling I will be loving tou 'til we're 70

and baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23

and I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways

maybe just the touch of a hand.

Well me, I fall in love with you every single day

and  I just wanna tell you I am

So honey now...

Take me into your loving arms,

kiss me under the light of a thousand stars.

Place your head on my beating heart,

I'm thinking out loud,

that maybe we found love right where we are.

When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades,

and the crowds don't remember my name,

when my hands don't play the strings the same way,

I know you  will still love me the same.

'Cause house your sould could never grow old, it's evergreen,

and baby your smile's forever in my mind and memory.

I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways,

maybe it's all part of a plan.

Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes

hoping that you'll understand.

But baby now...

Take me into your loving arms,

kiss me under the light of a thousand stars.

Place your head on my beating heart,

I'm thinking out loud,

that maybe we found love right where we are.

So honey now...

Take me into your loving arms,

kiss me under the light of a thousand stars.

Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart,

I'm thinking out loud,

that maybe we found love right where we are.

And we found love right where we are.

Yeah, life's all right.

I quit

That's what I told my big BIG boss about two weeks ago.

I started not to like my contractor's job or the supervisor's attitude, feeling like my work there was taking me nowhere, far away from hapiness.

Yes, I was still an independent urban planner/engineer, and I was just a part-time contractor there but hey... I'm not there for the money (alone), or for the "let's keep in touch, buddy!". I want to go places!

So yeah, I quit.

I sat along two of the big people in charge and quit.

Call me an a$$hole, I actually asked them for recommendation letters to take to new job prospects.

They said they'll given them to me. "We'll call you tomorrow to make sure all's well", they said before leaving.

I went home, with a little bit of luck they'll find something nice to say about me.

I thought I was going to be sad but I was actually proud of how brave I was and, honestly, how straightforward I was able to talk... a little badass! hell yeah, baby!

The next day I went out for coffe with Anycas and Mapicava when I got a call from one of them:

Mafe, are you sitting down?

Huh?

Are you sitting down?

Ummm... I am. What's going on?

You're hired.

Whhhh--- huh!?!?!

You're our new full-time --- and everything went blurry after this sentence ---

So yeah, I went from an "I quit", to a "You're hired full time" in less than 36 hours, in the same company.

According to Mr. Big, in the last 3 years, every January has become a month of HUMONGOUS changes in my life. All of them looked like jumps off cliffs at their moments but turned out to be starting points of incredible adventures.

This adventure started two weeks ago, I haven't have much sleep since then but I've never been happier.

My dreamed job was waiting for me, and I had to crawl, scratch and bite to get it, but I got it.

2015, you started well. Keep them coming, I'm ready.

2015 reading challenge

My friend Adriana posted the reading challenge and I jumped on that bus without thinking. Then I thought... WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?!

2012 was the year I read and listened to almost 30 books... this year's resolution is, well,, do at least a third of it.

The challenge contains 52 books, theoretically, you're supposed to read a book per week.

I know myself and I KNOW I won't be able to do it. So, in order to avoid future disappointments, I chose books that fit more than one category. To make up for that I plan to read books in Spanish, English, a book written in French and a book in Portuguese.

I can't assure I'll be able to finish, but I solemnly promise I'll try.

Anyone ready to take the challenge, be my guest.

Here’s the list:

• A book with more than 500 pages - WICKED

• A classic romance - THE PRINCESS BRIDE

• A book that became a movie - LISISTRATA

• A book published this year - EL INCREIBLE VIAJE DEL FAQUIR QUE SE QUEDO ATRAPADO EN UN ARMARIO DE IKEA

• A book with a number in the title - FAHRENHEIT 451

• A book written by someone under 30 - RED RISING

• A book with nonhuman characters - WICKED

• A funny book - EL INCREIBLE VIAJE DEL FAQUIR QUE SE QUEDO ATRAPADO EN UN ARMARIO DE IKEA

• A book by a female author - BOSSYPANTS

• A mystery or thriller - GUNS, GERMS AND STEEL

• A book with a one-word title - WICKED

• A book of short stories - EL LIBRO DE NAVIDAD

• A book set in a different country - CAIM

• A nonfiction book - AUTOGOL

• A popular author’s first book - LOOKING FOR ALASKA

• A book from an author you love that you haven’t read yet - LOOKING FOR ALASKA

• A book a friend recommended - LISISTRATA

• A Pulitzer Price-winning book - GUNS, GERMS AND STEEL

• A book based on a true story - AUTOGOL

• A book at the bottom of your to-read list - THE PRINCESS BRIDE

• A book your mom loves - LE PETIT PRINCE

• A book that scares you - GUNS, GERMS AND STEEL

• A book more than 100 years old - LISISTRATA

• A book based entirely on its cover - IS EVERYONE HANGING OUT WITHOUT ME?

• A book you were supposed to read in school but didn’t - (Nothing... I read everything I was supposed to in school. Sue me)

• A memoir - BOSSYPANTS

• A book you can finish in a day - GUIA PARA LA VIDA DEL ECOLOGISTA DE HOY EN DIA

• A book with antonyms in the title - GOOD GIRL GONE BAD

• A book set somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit - CAIM

• A book that came out the year you were born - 100,000 KM TRAS LOS OVNIS

• A book with bad reviews - LOST SYMBOL

• A trilogy - RED RISING

• A book from your childhood - LE PETIT PRINCE

• A book with a love triangle - WICKED

• A book set in the future - HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY

• A book set in high school - WICKED

• A book with a color in the title - RED RISING

• A book that made you cry - THE BOY IN THE STRIPPED PAJAMAS

• A book with magic - WICKED

• A graphic novel - GUIA PARA LA VIDA DEL ECOLOGISTA DE HOY EN DIA

• A book by an author you’ve never read before - EL INCREIBLE VIAJE DEL FAQUIR QUE SE QUEDO ATRAPADO EN UN ARMARIO DE IKEA

• A book you own but have never read - EL INCREIBLE VIAJE DEL FAQUIR QUE SE QUEDO ATRAPADO EN UN ARMARIO DE IKEA

• A book that takes place in your home town - A USTED TAMBIEN LE HA PASADO, ADMITALO!

• A book that was originally written in a different language - LE PETIT PRINCE

• A book set during Christmas - EL LIBRO DE NAVIDAD

• A book written by an author with your same initials - OTRA GENESIS

• A play - LISISTRATA

• A banned book - FAHRENHEIT 451

• A book based on or turned into a TV show - THE PRINCESS BRIDE

• A book you started but never finished - WICKED

UPDATE: Right after posting this, I lost one of the books, the one I'm supposed to finish asap... I am slowly dying.

UPDATE No. 2: Found it!!!