Thursday, November 22, 2012

A knight in shinning armor

Here's one thing:

I don't believe in feminism, chauvinism, machismo, and those isms. I think we are all the same.
Obviously, there are some jobs or things SOME women can't do (myself included) that require a higher physical ability. Sure, for every 3 incredibly strong girls there are 3 incredibly weak guys, and we're even. Right?
Additionally, there are jobs that require attention to detail that SOME men can't do because, well... it's not in their nature. Yes, it's true, SOME guys, not every guy. I've met men that are more into details that some women I know so yeah, it's not fair to generalize.

In other words, there are some people that can, and some people that cannot. Talking about people is easier than talking about gender in this matters, but I need to make a point.

The other thing is:

Yes, I like chivalry. Guilty, sue me.
I like guys that open the door for me.
I like guys that hold an umbrella when it's raining.
I love it when guys offer their coats when it's cold.
It's cool when a guys offers to walk you home.

And it's not because I don't think I can't open a door, or hold an umbrella, remember to wear a jacket or walk by myself or take a cab. No, I'm old fashioned. I can be your buddy, but I'm also a lady so, whatever.
But wait, not because a guy's a gentleman will mean that you can have a Mafe for yourself dude. That's ONE requirement, but not the only one.
Actually, I expect that kind of behavior from all men, not just my husband / boyfriend / lover / one-night-stand. Now that I think about it, most of my guyfriends are complete gentlemen.

Well, and I think this is because yes, I am a Latina, and we're brought up that way.
Theoretically, we are tough cookies, we love to feel sexy and expect to be treated as ladies so... we're tough AND sexy lady-cookies. Does that make sense?
Latin men are brought up to fill the gap, they are taught to open doors, hold umbrellas, offer coats and walk girls home because "It's dangerous! keep her safe! Be a man!"

All things considered, turns out all this education screws things up when decide to live in a part of the world where being like that is not a custom but something, to put it simple, useless if not really a nuisance.

When a Latina meets a guy that does not behave that way, we feel, well... violated. At least I do.
When a Latino meets a girl that does not expect chivalry, it unscrews their bulbs. Trust me, I've seen it happen.

All this to say one thing:

Dude, I don't expect you to come to my rescue when I see a bug or carry me when walking in the rain, but when I say:

"I don't like your buddy because he tried to feel my thighs under the table"

You are NOT supposed to laugh about it and say:

"I don't think so, I'm pretty sure it was a mistake... 
he has a girlfriend, he bumped into you, that's all."

I may be nice and funny, but nobody, hear me: NOBODY is allowed to touch me if I don't want him/her to. Ok?

By the way, don't worry about txt'ing me lame condescending apologies and trying to justify your asshole of a friend, your phone is no longer on my contact list. Don't bother.

You failed dude, you're out.

PostScript: This is my second post about guys getting too touchy-touchy 
with me...what kind of ass swipes am I surrounding myself with?!?!?!
... full disappointment

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