I checked my facebook timeline and I saw that a friend from a long time ago was in town for a wedding. I sent him a DM asking him out for a coffee or a drink and talk before he leaves... he's a super funny guy, I give him my number and hope for the best.
No, I'm not hitting on him. He's just a sweet guy. Let's call him "Pedrito".
Anyway, my Sunday goes pretty mellow: sleep a little more, clean my apartment, bike to the market, bike to the music hall, jazz concert at the music hall, bike home, have friends over to help me move some furniture and cook a couple of dishes for the week.
Just in the middle of the "I'm trying a new rice recipe with some weird rice I got on the marker. It's a really weird rice and I feel I need to measure the humidity and moistness of the mix"... the guy calls and asks me out for dinner.
Whatever, this guy is super funny and I haven't seen him in a long time... see you later rice! be a good boy and don't turn into risotto while I'm gone!!!
We make things easy and head to the bar/restaurant across the street from my house.
When we arrive, the bartender and some of the bar's regulars greet him as "Heeeeeeey!! Pedrito!!!" and "Heeeeeeeey!! Mafe!!!".
Oh God, have I become part of the bar regulars???
Anyway, the bartender greets Pedrito and asks him about one of his friends... and then, EVERY SINGLE PERSON sitting at the bar starts asking about the same dude. The same dude I can't talk to and don't know if I should try to talk to, and it kinda hurts to talk to and... oh crap!!
"Yeah, how is so-and-so?"
"Is he still living in ....?"
"Is he working at the...?"
"He's a really funny guy. I loved that one!"
"We miss him, specially during game season."
[What game? I don't know... but he was fun according to the geezer at the bar]
Oh man. Stab me with a knife and twist it a little more please?
And then... the bartender sees me and asks: "Wait... Mafe, didn't you come with HIM the last time he was in town?"
Great, my cover is blown.
I remember you guys looked as if you were...
I didn't know you guys were...
Oh nooooooononononono, we're not. We're friends, that's all.
Tell him I said Hi next time you see him.
Suuuuure! [insert fake smiley face here].
Now Pedrito and Mafe sit down and are eating quesadillas, drinking, talking... talking... talking.
And since Pedrito is such a good friend with the dude... he starts talking about HIM.
Take the knife ouf of the wound, put some lemon on it and put it in again... and twist it.
You know what? I'm gonna call him and tell him I'm having dinner with you! He'll be jealous!!
Ay no Pedrito... it's ok, I'm sure he's busy.
It's Sunday, he has time! It'll be fun!
Pedrito no, don't bother.
Oh Mafe... don't be silly. Come on!
We're not THAT interesting, don't.... please?
Wait... it's ringing.
[Oh... mother of God, please don't pick up, please don't pick up, please don't pick up. I promise I'll be good, I'll go to Sunday mass... Dear Santa, I know I've been asking for a car but I'll change my Xmas wish for this one. I'll pet kittens, I'll repent, I'll be good... pleaaaaseeeee don't pick up!!!]
........... and in here you'll have the longest 30 seconds of my life .......
Voice mail... that guy is always so busy.
I'm sure he is, it's ok... some other time maybe [Thank you baby Jesus!!!]
Anyway, he's a good guy, it's just that sometimes he gets so busy...
I remember when went to ...
And then, there was this other time...
Last year, we went to San Diego and...
So, without me knowing it, I was listening to a ton of stories stories from this dude, I'm sitting in front of his best friend telling me what a good person he is, how much fun they had, how is he a great worker. Pedrito didn't know the last time the dude and I talked it got super ugly.
Pedrito was telling me everything I already knew.
Sweet Pedrito was stabbing me over and over and over again, making me feel stupid for what the dude and I did...
Something needs to be done. What? I honestly don't know.
Excuse me, I need to go to the hospital, I may bleed to death.