Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Soccer mom-acita

My boss-man is Finnish, a big-smart-cool Finnish who has visited Colombia on several occasions.
I'm the weakest link on the food chain in this office, the mini-student adviser that has a tiny desk, a tiny cubicle and a tiny patience for students that show up with tiny brains and ends up making fun of them... in front of them and they don't notice.
Fortunately for me, my co-workers find it amusing... oops!

The good thing? my boss-man likes my work.
The bad thing? my boss-man is chatty.

The cool thing? my boss-man likes to talk about many things, and apparently each one of the members of this office is in charge of talking about a specific topic:

  • The receptionist talks about the weather.
  • The administrative manager talks about current events.
  • The Interior Design adviser's topic is Nascar (eww?)
  • The Fashion Desing adivser's supossed to talk about theater and movies.
  • The Account and Marketing person talks about politics.

... and so on..

Me? apparently my accent and the fact that I'm SouthAmerican got the SOCCER tag stuck to my forehead.

So yeah, poor Mr. boss-man, if I'm the one he can talk about soccer... that poor man is... well... a poor man.

Talking with this guy I've learned A LOT about soccer, well... more than I've already knew, which was... close to nothing:

Cristiano Ronaldo is not only the biggest closeted jean-selling homosexual in the world. Apparently he plays for Real Madrid.
Gerard Pique was a soccer player before becoming Shakira's baby-maker, [mind = blown!]
David Bekam is married to that ugly SpiceGirl skeleton and has 3 babies with weird names, right? turns out he plays for a French team... Oh, and I learned to spell B-e-c-k-h-a-m.
Ronaldinho is not the Jar-Jar-Binks of soccer; against all odds, he plays for Atletico Mineiro, not the "Death Star FC".
Lionel Messi... well... I knew he was famous but I didn't know exactly how he looked like. I always thought he was Italian, but he's Argentinian. No wonder he appears on Argentinian cereal commercials. Duh!. Well, now I know he plays in Barcelona... and that he's supposed to be the best soccer player in the world, but he's not cute.
Radamel Falcao is Colombian (check, I knew that) and plays for Atletico Madrid and--- wait... I knew he played for the Portuguese!!!!! How long have I been living under a rock?!?!?
I always thought Kaka was an old  man but... wow! hello Mr. Cute!! Real Madrid has a good casting director.
Samuel Eto'o is african, I knew that. But did you know he plays for the Russkies??
Carlos Puyol is... eww... nevermind! He fugly, girl!!!
Zlatan Ibrahimovic is not the highest scoring word in Scrabble but a cute-eyed Swedish that plays in Paris Saint-Germain. Which is, fyi, a french team that has a really cool seal with the Arc-do-Triomphe and something that looks like a baby stroller on it... or a tub. I don't know.
Wayne Rooney is a funny British guy that is not part of the "Monty Python" or "The Office" original casts. He plays for Manchester United which, I guess... is a famous team because I've heard of them but don't really care about it.

And last, but certainly not least, Volkan Demirel is the hottest man alive... Period.


  1. Y de la nariz de Zlatan no tienes nada que decir?

    1. Dude, don't ask for pears from an Olm tree.


Keep talking... I'm listening.