An old whore on the fast lane to hell

That's how my new roommate makes me feel... sometimes.

She's a young and good catholic girl from a very conservative family, from a very conservative town in a very conservative country.
She's my youngest sister's age but sometimes I don't feel like an older sister, but a whoring mother.

Anyway, this girl has to be home by 9pm because... well... because.
Me? I come home at 9pm IF I'm done work by that time.

The girl goes out on weekends and comes back at 10pm because... the streets are dangerous, she says.
Me? the longest I've been out on a weekend is 6am and got a loooong lecture by Mr. Big.

The girl is about to become a Master's in Music but doesn't know who Celia Cruz, Michael Jackson, Metallica or Maroon 5 are because... well... the hell I know!!
Me? don't ask.

The girl thinks every guy that talks to you is a "potential husband" because... I'm scared to ask.
Me? meh... been there, done that. Still, my best friends are men.

The girl thinks when a woman says a guy is cute means she's horny. Don't ask.
Me? It'll take a SUPER hot guy to make me fell... ummmm... nevermind.

The girl thinks the last comments on Mafe and Big's picture are "pornographic"
Me? I still can't believe my girlfriends envy my brand new swimming/spinning legs on shorty-short-shorts!

Oh! this girl will NEVER wear shorts, even on the hottests Summer days. They're too revealing, she says.
Me? well... since the cyber-world likes my legs... gotta give them what they want, right?

The girl thinks religion is the solution to all your problems and should be obeyed, no questions asked.
Me? I was taught to think and question EVERYTHING.

The girl doesn't like my friends' jokes about "sex and those things".
Me? Me loves me posy.

The girl has 3 "cyber boyfriends". She txt's them, Skype's them, email's them daily... but has NEVER been out with ANY of them because... well... [instert WTF-face here].
Me? well... no. I've had gentlemen callers, yes. I've been sxt'ing txt'ing a couple of dudes, yes.I've been on dates, yes. Coffee? movie? dress-up for dinner? mmmmm?... yes.

The girl doesn't know who Hugh Jackman, Johnny Depp, Antonio Banderas or any other actor is.
Me? I had an Oscar-watching-dinner party at home this year.

This weekend, I went out with my friends for a post-Oktoberfest party night.

We went to a bar. Packed as always and playing the best 70s and 80s classics anyone can think of. We jumped, danced and scream to the likes of Queen, Jackson 5, Madonna, Whitney Houston, Journey, Vanilla Ice...

And I took her with me.
And.................... never again.
She stormed out a couple of minutes later without saying good-bye because... and I quote "it was full of strangers and all that Heavy Metal and Rock were too much".
Slap on my face.  Is she for real??


She's not a friend. She's not really a roommate. Just my little a social experiment. I decided I'll shoot funky-weird information at her just to see her reactions.
I'm a researcher and science is my life... yeah, right Mafe. Be honest, you're just being a bitch.

Every time I talk with her I feel super old.
Every time I talk about a person from the opposite sex I feel like super slut.
I'm pretty sure she thinks I can't grow devilish fangs and horns because I don't drink milk anymore and there's not enough Calcium on my body..

I'm an old whore driving the bus on the fast lane to hell.